Start with the Ending

I've been thinking lately about the lyrics in a David Wilcox song:

The secret of a happy marriage,
maybe you should write this down
If you want to keep a love together,
the best way is to end it now
Because when you both know its over,
suddenly the truth comes out
You can talk about your secret passion,
you can talk about your restless doubt

When there's no pretending,
then the truth is safe to say,
Start with the ending,
get it out of the way
Now there's no defending,
because no one has to win
Start with the ending,
it's the best way to begin.*

It's somewhat flip (especially to hear it sung), but I think there's truth to it. I've been in relationships that became really honest at the end, when neither of us was trying to posture or preserve some facade. Once I knew it was ending, there was no reason not to say exactly what I thought, wanted, needed. By that point, there was too much water under the bridge to preserve the romantic relationship, but maybe if we'd been that honest in the beginning...

And that's the point of the song. What if you took the attitude at the beginning that there's no reason to hold anything back? What you presented your true self instead of who you think the other person wants you to be or even who you'd like to be on your best days? This would require either an immense dose of self-confidence and bravery or a lack of expectations, but how much better could that kind of relationship be? Some relationships might not get off the ground under those circumstances, but wouldn't the one that did be amazing?

*Copyright 2000 published by Midnight Ocean Bonfire Music (ASCAP)/Cindy Lou My Dear (ASCAP), a division of Soroka Music Ltd.